Sonabai

I am Sonabai a girl of ten year from Ranpur village, of Rajasthan.  I am the eldest daughter of my parents who has got four more daughters younger to me. Being a girl the duty assigned to me is to help my mother and bring water from the public well way away in the desert encircled by rising dunes of golden sands and chocolate mountains. I  was a happy child in the whirl wind of dust.

Yesterday I saw my mother engaged in heated conversation with my drunken father  and finally got beaten down. I was not much bothered since it is one of their daily ordeals. He always cursed mother for giving birth to only girls.

My house was crowded today and mother dressed me up in the new hand worked dress. A plate of home made sweets was placed before me. First time I was seeing such mouth watering stuffs together. I grabbed them one bye one with greed and started eating. I don’t know why the ladies around me laughed. Almost all my neighbors were present there.

My father took me on his shoulders and placed me in the lap of the strange old man and I didn’t like the  odor of his body. Then I was asked to keep a garland on his neck and he placed another one on my neck too. The priest chanted few mantras and after a lavish lunch, I was forced to go along with the old man and his troop. I cried a lot and ran back to my mother’s hands. She was also crying, but my father took me forcefully from her side and handed over to the old man.

I sat on the camel back watching the clouds turning from pink to mauve grey.After a long exhausting  travel through the desert we reached at his house, little bit larger than my own house. I was received by few ladies with oil lamp and they applied colored powder on my forehead.

The sun was going down into torpid slumber..I missed my little sisters and mother very much. Felt totally isolated and horrified in the new surrounding. The drab colourless landscape made me more miserable Some how I slipped into deep sleep after the tiring journey in the scorching sun, and was awakened by the pressure of a body over me. I saw the old man squeezing his weight over me. I started screaming. He was so brutal that he closed my mouth and did things that I was never known before .Everything was like a nightmare. I was really afraid of that man and used to hide beneath the coat when he comes. But unfortunately every day the torture continued till I bleed.

Life in the new house was horrible for me day after day. There were many kids of my age in that house . But I was not allowed to go out and play with them . I used to envy the freedom they were enjoying.

One day  I was watching the children paying out side. The sunlight regulated through the small huts. The wind blown with unabated fury .I heard a huge cry from inside. I peeped through the door. The old man was lying down in the floor and heard people whispering that he is dead, and I did’nt understand the meaning of the word.

Few old ladies took me near to the well and poured water over my head. They had broken all my bangles and removed the colored powder from my forehead. I was wondering what is happening. Then one of the lady started cutting my long hair. I screamed and ran away but the other ladies caught me and forcefully removed all my luxuriant hair and made me to wear white dress. Why?  

Year passed. Now the rear views are clearer to me. Each incident marched in my mind unwinding the memory. My white attire was a grim reminder of my past. Swirling hot air was the only companion I had. I lived  isolated, cursing the nights that never dazzled in light .Dreamless days passed identically waiting only for the final departure. If ever there is a rebirth let it be never that of a girl, I prayed.

******************************************************